Sunday, August 16, 2009

Koi Climbing Rocks

A storm is rising at the beach. I am the daughter of my ex boyfriend. He's going to launch the boat into the water. It's on the ramp, on the trailer, behind the corvette, but the corvette is nose first into the water. I ask, "Do you want me to drive the corvette out?" "Yes." It feels a set he intends to destroy something and I'm going to be held responsible.

I get into the corvette and make a u-turn out of the water and up a ramp loading into the back of a moving was also parked in the water, sideways, on the boat ramp. "How did I do?" I ask. There is no answer; he's abandoned me. I follow up the ramp and onto the beach.

My son Isaac is my brother. He's playing with friends on the rocks above me. I am looking for lost items washed ashore. I notice but only secondarily, beautiful fish peaking out of the rocks on the sides of my path. Then I look up, my ex/father is above going through found items. I look to the side and see my brother. I wonder how to get up there and notice the path and the koi, crawling between rocks, climbing to the top, they are so beautiful.

"Get the camera for me" I call to my father/ex. My brother/son races me for it and beats me there. I'm so angry. It's my camera, and I asked for it, but it is given to my brother instead. I scold my father/ex for being such a weak person who would not stand for what is right and instead spoil my brother and forsake me. I call him a coward and go to take my camera from my brother. It is out of film....

Doug is there (I have promised to marry him when we turn 80). I'm surprised. He says that he and Rachel are in the park. He warns me to stay sharp. I don't understand. He is talking about being aware of my father/ex, "Just stay sharp." It is like there is a plan Doug knows about that I do not. I think about Doug and do a little feels good enough to wake me from my dream.

I should call him today. He had surgery this week, too, and doesn't know about my ankle.

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